Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
