I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
