In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
