the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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