I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
