Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
