Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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