so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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