ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dignity is for republicans.
I just googled if crying burns calories
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
