she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
