YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
