I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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