scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
