Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
