she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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