im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.