I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.