I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
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Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
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So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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