you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study