Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.