sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.