so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor