:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
