So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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