I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
