Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
