I want to have your abortion
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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