Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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