i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
