you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
