Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
