We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
