we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
