Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
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and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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