Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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