Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
