You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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