I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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