Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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