Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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