i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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