so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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