I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize