yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
