No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
