hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
