Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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