I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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