so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
