I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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