i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
