I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
