this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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