the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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