new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
