woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
