you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize