A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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