I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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