You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
