she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
