ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
