So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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