Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize