this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
