I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I need water and some morals
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
