my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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