You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
